Overcoming Grief

            The day the great boulder fell. When the planet rattled like the hands of a higher being was trying to shake the Sol Sanctum and Mount Alteph free of their rocky prisons. I remember that day; it was like the world was going to end. The rain was so cold it stung when it would hit any exposed skin. When we would breathe smoke would come from our lips in thick clouds. I remember. The strongest men ran to the top; the husbands, the brothers, the daddy’s, the sons, all ran to the top of the hill to try and stop that giant rock from falling and crushing our town. I remember, I remember it all so clearly.

            I darted down the long flights of stairs that took me away from the falling rock. They were slippery from the cold rain and as I ran I almost fell more times than I cared to remember. I stood my ground and ran until I felt like my feet could not carry me another step. The safe house down by the river seemed to be empty and everyone was running around it as if trying to get a better look at what was going on. I felt a knot form in my stomach as my eyes fell on the rushing water that was once our pleasant river. Had someone fallen in? I wondered. I looked out down further in the rushing water and I could barely make out a head in the water, a small head of brown hair. My stomach dropped when the head resurfaced and my eyes fell on the face of my brother, my one and only older brother Felix. His arms were latched onto a moss-covered rock that barely kept him above the rushing water.

            Arms were suddenly around me, my mothers comforting arms. She told me how Felix fell in the water, but no one had the psyenergy to get to him. I looked into Mom and Dad’s eyes and I saw how worried they were. Felix was their first born, their baby, their little boy, and they did not want to lose him. I didn’t either. I wanted to take them into my arms and assure them that it was going to be okay, that Felix was going to be saved. The very thought of losing my brother was almost too much for me to bare. He was my brother after all, he’s the one that made me smile when Dad would yell at me. He couldn’t die, he just couldn’t.

            I looked up and my eyes fell on Issac and Garet as they came running down the stairs soaked to the bone. They were breathing hard and there was a sort of panic in their eyes. I saw it and I knew that same panic was in my own. Issac’s mother tells him and Garet to go find someone who could help Felix. I went with her to try and find someone as well. There had to be someone somewhere in the village that could help my brother. We searched the upper level of the town and found that everyone was so exhausted that they could not help us. When we returned we found that Issac and Garet had found someone, My heart jumped; my brother was going to be okay.

            Just then, a tremor shook the entire town. We looked around in a craze and heard the sound that we were all dreading: the sound of the bolder falling. I saw mom and dad hug each other tighter and close their eyes. They looked so worried, so sad. I saw Issac’s mothers eyes turn to the top of the mountain, Kyle was up there, he was one of the people trying to save the town from the boulder. He would throw his body in front of the boulder before he let it fall on the village. I felt my heart skip a beat, my entire body was paralyzed, all I could do was look up and see the giant rock speeding toward us.

            I don't know how long I blacked out for, all I know was that when I came too Felix was gone, Mom was gone, Dad was gone, they were all gone. My head was pounding, I thought I was going to die right then and there. Issac stood and went off to find help. There might be a chance to save them! Garet followed soon after and the two of them were off to save the day. I didn’t understand what was happening entirely, I couldn’t get my mind around the fact that no one from my family was anywhere near me, that there was the chance that I could be alone in the world.

            Issac and Garet never returned that day. We found them hours later unconscious on the ground, looking slightly beaten up. No one knew what happened and they could not recall what happened either, only that they blacked out for some reason. We told them it must have been shock, but those of us who found us who found them knew it was something very different from that. They were hurt in some way, someone had hurt them, and because of that I secretly wanted to hate them for being so weak and losing to whatever had attacked them. In my heart, I knew that I couldn’t hate them, if it was something that was stronger than them.

            That was only a year ago. I remember it all. I think it has finally hit me that the are not coming back, that I have no one in the world. This pain is almost too much for me to bare, it just hurts too much. I know people are there for me, I know that if I ever needed anything all I’d have to do is ask and all of those around me would come running. Issac’s mother has been nothing but kind to me since this entire incident, but there is a hole now that only my family could fill. I’m fifteen now, still a child, almost an adult, before long I can leave Vale and go a place where the memories aren’t so painful, so real, so vivid.

            I’m sitting by the river now in the ruins of the safe house, the last place I saw my family. The water is flowing down so easily as if it was completely harmless. I know better however, I know that the water is dangerous. I don’t want to cry, not again, not anymore. I want to harden my heart so I can’t feel this pain anymore. I want to rip out all of my emotions and pretend they don’t exist. I want to feel dead inside just to get rid of this pain.

            “Jenna?” I look up when I hear my name called. Issac’s mother is standing on the other side of the river. She looks concerned. “Jenna, the plaza is completely destroyed, hardly a place for you to be sitting.” She gives me a small smile. “Come on, come have dinner with Issac and me.” I nod and stand slowly walking around and across the bridge. She puts her arm around my shoulders and we start walking back to the house.

            “Do you miss him?” I asked out of the blue. I wanted to slap my hand over my mouth and pretend that did not just fall from my lips. She didn’t look at me, but a small smile formed on her lips.

            “Every moment of every day, Jenna. We all lost someone that day, we lost something to the boulder. Be assured that you aren’t the only one.” Her voice was steady, but I could hear it wavering only slightly. She was holding back tears, probably for my sake.

            “But you lost the love of your life, how do you deal with it? How do you overcome that grief?” I asked. She stopped and knelt on her knees, holding my shoulders, and she gave me a smile, a hurt but hopeful smile.

            “I think about Issac and you and everyone else I have to live for. Kyle might be gone, but he still lives in my heart. Jenna, your family may be gone, but you will never be alone if you keep their memory alive. Remember the good times, remember their faces, and don’t ever let anyone take those memories away from you.” With those words she wrapped me into a tight and desperate hug. I was stunned for a moment before wrapping my arms around her. This woman was taking me in as her own child, she said that I was one of the things that helped her get through each day.

            I can get through this, I know I can. If not for myself than for Felix, Mom, and Dad. I know they would want me to remain strong, to continue my study of psynergy and get even stronger. They would want me to make an impact on this world. I can and I will. I will overcome my sadness, my grief, and live the best life I can.

            I’m not alone after all.

-09/14/04

Been a while since I actually finished a story. I have wanted to write a Golden Sun fan fiction for freaking ever now and when I got this idea a while ago I decided to run with it one night. It was the only thing that was actually flowing at the time.