Resolve

It was snowing out. Despite the many things Akito could name off in her head that she severely disliked snow was not one of them. It was beautiful to watch, especially when it was a light snow at night, where the lights from main house and the moon were the only things illuminating the tiny specks of white. It was snowing on this particular New Year’s Eve as she waited for her family and her jyuunishi to join her for a feast as they did every year. It was predictable, much like the fact that it was almost always white for said feast, and every year she both dreaded and yearned for it. It was a tradition, it was something that had to be done every year, and she wanted to cancel it at least once every time the end of yet another year came.

It was something that she loved because she was suddenly the center of attention for her animals. They came to see her, they came to be with her, that was what they wanted and had to do every year. It was something that was expected of them, it was something that they knew would happen every December, and it was something that they most likely had come to accept by now. Akito found herself enjoying watching the dance of the animals for the former and coming year with a small smile on her lips, a very small and private smile, but a smile nevertheless. It was something that only a select few saw every year and those were limited to Kureno, Hatori, and Shigure only. And she was fine that they knew about her private smile, that they knew to look for it every year, and that they always smiled back.

However, it was also the time of constant reminders of where her jyuunishi had fallen short of her own expectations, to see the ones that stirred the anger in the pit of her stomach, the ones she almost found herself hating despite the deep seeded connection they had. Yet even as those she disliked began to file in she refused to show it, not publically, and kept her anger buried deep within. Akito knew it did not reach her eyes when she lay eyes on Rin, that the long black hair reaching like snakes, like hers, and it infuriated her.

Yet this year she decided to make things a little different. It was only a few mere weeks since she had made her deal with the Cat and she wanted to see him, she wanted to see if his so called invincible resolve to beat the Rat had faded at all. As everyone continued to file in she found that Kyou was not among them. Narrowing her eyes, she could only wonder where he could be hiding before the maid came over and knelt beside her, leaning in close.

“Akito, Kyou was spotted on the grounds, but he wasn’t making his way toward the banquet. Should I send someone to go get him?” She asked.

“No, he’ll come eventually.” Akito replied, sighing heavily before looking out the window, only wondering where he could be off to. There was no way he was going to see his father, the man would have nothing to do with his son, but there had to be something or someone he wanted to see before he made an entrance, if he made one at all. Looking out the window, she watched the snow fall for a moment, pushing the sounds of her jyuunishi away so she could focus on the outside, how peaceful it was, and how much she wanted to have that sense of peace as well.

***

The banquet was over and there was still no sign of Kyou. He seemed to have vanished all together and Akito could not help but be a little angry that she had invited him and he more or less turned her down. To show such disrespect was not right, in her eyes, and she did not feel like it was something that needed to be tolerated. Yet as she looked out the windows to her room alone, she could see footprints in the snow, disrupting it’s perfection, and the direction that whoever was walking became apparent. It was then that she knew where the Cat was hiding, she knew why he did not come to dinner, and it made a small, wicked smile form on her lips.

Closing her kimono tightly around her thin body, Akito slipped on her shoes and opened the nearest door, the cool breeze touching her ashen skin and cooling her entire body. The snow had stopped now, but there was a good layer of it covering the ground as she stepped outside, as she began to follow those footsteps. As she walked, she could feel a bit of the snow leaking into her shoes, making them wet and her feet cold, but as she walked she found that it was tolerable if it meant seeing what she thought she would see.

As soon as the Cat House came into view it took almost no time at all for the figure of her Cat to come into view as well. Even from the distance, she could see that snow covered his coat shoulders and his bright red hair held evidence from the snowfall that evening, tiny white dots sprinkled upon something so radiant. As she neared, she saw that he was standing near the house, but was not moving, he was simply staring at it, a blank expression on his face. He did not notice her presence, despite his so-called “training,” and did not even react until she placed a hand on his shoulder. Kyou jumped.

“Looking at something?” She asked, keeping her voice low.

“No, not really, just stopping by what I’ll never stay in.” He replied evenly, but the tone of his voice spoke made his lie as thin as the snow.

“How many times have you seen this place?” Akito pushed, keeping a hand on his thin shoulder despite how uncomfortable it was obviously making him.

“Not many, it’s not something I like to think about. I get enough crap from you and everyone else, I don’t need to be reminding myself.” He snapped, his voice a little harder and she knew she hit a nerve.

“Now, now, Kyou, no need to get to defensive. I just like to remind you that you are a monster and that’s all. Not exactly something huge.” She replied easily, tightening her grip on his shoulder. Akito felt them swell with anger beneath her hands. “I actually just wanted to ask to you how things are going with Yuki and if you’ve beaten him yet.” Kyou fell silent for a moment before she saw his eyes hit the ground, his fists clenching.

“No, not yet, but I assure you I will beat him. I won’t end up in a cage like everyone else before me, I’ll prove you and everyone else wrong that I’m not a monster, I’m a person.” He said firmly and she laughed a little, leaning in close. Now she was sure every nerve in his body was on end as she placed both hands on his shoulders, leaning in so she whispered into his ear.

“Do you think I lock you up because I want to? Oh, Kyou, don’t you know it’s for your own protection? Don’t you know I’m only trying to protect you? I wouldn’t want everyone in the world to know you’re a monster. I know you hate the way I look at you, can you imagine if everyone who saw you looked at you like that?” She asked, making her whisper as breathy as possible and she felt him shutter against her.

“I am not a monster.” He replied firmly.

“Your delusion that you are going to beat Yuki is almost as unrivaled as your denial.” She quipped before moving away from him so she was standing between him and the Cat house, so they were looking eye to eye.

“It’s not denial or a delusion; it’s the truth. I am going to beat him and I am going to prove to all of you that I’m not a monster.” Kyou said, his voice getting a little louder. She stared at him, this disgusting thing, this monster, hermonster and no one else’s, the one she was suppose to look after and could only smile a bit before walking toward it, before walking toward him, and reaching up, cradling his face in her hands.

“You are mine, Kyou, you are my monster and my Cat, no one else’s and don’t you ever forget that.” With those words she pulled him down, just a bit, so she could kiss his cold temple gently. His skin was smooth, but cold beneath her lips and she knew he had been standing in that very spot since the banquet. Releasing him, she took a step back as he stared at her, completely lost for words. Giving him a smile that she knew looked very mocked, she brushed by him, “You should head back inside or you’ll get sick. Time is ticking and you wouldn’t want to miss that opportunity to beat Yuki just because you have the chills.” Akito did not wait for a response from him, she simply started through the snow and back to the main house. He would stay there for only a moment more before taking her advice and going to get warm realizing the truth in her words.

The banquet was over yet again and she was found herself walking through the cold snow toward the main house before it began to fall again. Holding out a hand and catching one, she wondered if his resolve would slowly melt away like the flake did in her hand. She wondered if his resolve was anything like her bond with the jyuunishi; invincible, immortal, and unbreakable.

Akito smiled to herself, thinking that only time would tell for sure.